Updating Our Declaration of Independence

A New Declaration of Independence from Tyranny

from Andy Borowitz

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for a people to break from a leader who governs with cruelty, contempt, and corruption, a decent respect to the opinions of humankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all people are created equal, endowed with inherent dignity and unalienable rights—among these are life, liberty, equality, and the pursuit of justice.

That to secure these rights, governments derive their power from the consent of the governed. When a leader becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right and duty of the people to refuse allegiance and to stand united in the defense of their freedoms.

The current holder of high office has shown himself to be unfit to lead a free and just society.

* He disrespects women, mocking survivors of violence and stripping away their rights.

* He fuels racism and white supremacy, scapegoating communities of color and denying their equality.

* He assaults free speech, attacking the press, punishing dissent, and spreading disinformation.

* He exploits public office for private gain, enriching himself and the billionaire class while abandoning the poor and working people.

* He undermines justice, ignores the rule of law, and places himself above accountability.

* He disregards science, endangering lives in times of crisis and sacrificing the planet for profit.

* He fans division and incites violence to maintain power, wielding fear as a weapon against the people.

Time and again, we have protested peacefully, spoken truthfully, and appealed to our shared humanity. We have been met with indifference, hostility, and violence. A leader who governs through hatred and greed is unfit to govern at all.

Therefore, we, the people of conscience and conviction, do solemnly declare our independence from this tyrant and all he represents.

We withdraw our consent.

We refuse to be complicit in cruelty.

We reject the abuse of power for personal gain.

We stand for dignity, truth, equality, and justice for all people.

With firm reliance on each other and unwavering hope in our collective strength,

We pledge to resist oppression in all its forms,

To uphold the rights of the vulnerable,

And to build a future grounded in compassion, courage, and shared humanity.

Let this declaration be both a breaking and a beginning.

What This Bill Is Doing to Our Children

The OBBBA the Senate just passed is not just a bad bill. It’s a generational betrayal.

This bill burdens our children with crushing debt—all to fund more tax breaks for billionaires.

It scorches their future by ignoring the climate crisis, gutting environmental protections, and locking in policies that ensure dirtier air, hotter summers, and more disasters.

It attacks their health, slashing Medicaid and nutrition support, and stripping away care that keeps vulnerable kids alive and thriving.

And perhaps most dangerously, it teaches them to fear—to grow up in a country where dissent is punished, neighbors are deported, and masked agents patrol the streets.

Is this the legacy we want to leave?

The Police State, Supercharged

If you liked masked, unidentified men snatching people off the street—
get ready for OBBBA to put that on steroids.

This bill funnels more money into militarized enforcement and unaccountable federal agents, while gutting civil rights protections and expanding surveillance powers. It turns fear into policy and treats dissent like a threat.

We’ve seen the dry run:
Unmarked vans. No badges. No names. Just force.

Now they want to make it permanent.

This isn’t security. It’s authoritarianism wrapped in stars and stripes.
If you believe in freedom, if you care about your neighbors—oppose this bill.

Before it turns protest into peril.